So, anyway - the first time was a trial run - and I learned, and I will do things differently the next time around. I figured I should start with a really good, attention grabbing cover letter that would make an editor want to read the story I send.
Here's what I want you to do. I am going to post my query letter, and I need you to pretend you are some big shot, rude, egotistical, thinking you're God's gift to the world editor and tell me if this letter would make you decide to send me a nasty e-mail about how I need to read your submission guidelines before I even attempt to send you any more of my crappy writing, or if it will make you want to read my story, thus discovering the hottest new talent on the writing scene. So, let me know which it is, O.K.?
Let me introduce myself. I am an overweight, naturally lazy 39 year old woman with a very busy, full life. Specifically, here is a list of all the things I have to deal with each and every day:
1. An extremely annoying husband who has absolutely no handy-man skills.
2. A house that has an ever increasing need for a handy-man.
3. Four sons who were all born with a natural love of and talent for destruction.
4. A dog who loves me so much that he feels a need to be constantly touching me no matter what I am trying to do (which is very irritating, especially when I am sleeping and he cuddles up with my face).
5. Way too many cats which I, for some mysterious reason, have accepted into my home.
6. Some strange, unknown disorder, indicated by my allowing all those cats to live in my house, which I am actively working on diagnosing and curing through the services of both a therapist and a very tall shaman.
7. A job as a preschool teacher (for a classroom of children who tend to be even more destructive than my four sons).
8. A lizard, four frogs and a hermit crab who may or may not be dead.