Abc for Adults

So, today, (and all this week, in fact), my fellow teachers and I attended professional development training. Well, it started out OK. The subject of the training was alphabet books, and an author who has written something like 55 alphabet books was the speaker. So, in the beginning, at 8:30 this morning, it was extremely interesting, and looked promising. But, by 2:00, and when the author had finished reading us his 45th alphabet books, my eyes were crossing, my head was drooping and my stomach was growling.
Luckily, my fellow teacher, Rosemary, and I found a way to pass the time. We took turns and came up with our own alphabet books. We wrote ABC Chicago, ABC Lunch, ABC Weird Things People Do, ABC Positions (but Rosemary crumbled that one up and threw it away for some reason.  I meant, like, baseball and soccer positions.  What a DIRTY MIND!), and ABC Cocktails. However, by far, our best ABC book was ABC Things We'd Rather Be Doing Right Now. Here's what we came up with:

ABC Things We'd Rather Be Doing Right Now

Artfully Drinking
Bowling
Cooking dinner
Drinking
Eating TCBY
Farting by myself
Giving Corey a BJ (whatever that's supposed to mean)
Hanging around Ginger
Ignoring my husband
Jumping Jacks (and I hate Jumping Jacks)
Killing innocent kittens
Lying on the beach
Moving furniture
Nudging angry Polar Bears
Opening mail
Painting your toes
Quilting
Running from a mugger
Shitting
Teaching Corey to floss
Using my Target gift card
Visiting prisons
Watching "Say Yes To The dress"
X-Raying fruit flies
Yelling at my imaginary friend
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well, what do you think?  Pretty great, huh? All we need now is an illustrator.  We will be published in no time - then next year, we can speak at the training!!!!!