Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Nastiest Diet

By far, the nastiest, most disgusting diet I have ever heard of is The Lemonade Diet.  First of all, the lemonade is just plain gross.  Listen to this recipe, and tell me doesn't sound nasty:

o    2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed organic lemon juice
o    2 tablespoons of grade B organic maple syrup
o   A 10th of a teaspoon of  powdered organic cayenne pepper
o    Distilled water in 10 oz glasses

So, my friend was doing The Lemonade Diet (AKA The Master Cleanse), and I tasted this concoction, and it made me gag.  It is really foul.  I mean, who even came up with that combination of flavors, and thought it would be a good idea to make them into a drink?  Probably somebody with a sense of humor - probably somebody who is sitting back laughing at all the dopes going around drinking this stuff.

Anyway - you drink this spicy syrup lemonade instead of eating solid food, and it's supposed to cleanse your body of toxins - and it's supposed to suppress all  cravings for junk food.  You do this for a minimum of 10 days (but, apparently, you can stay on the diet for up to 45 days).  I can't imagine, though, that I would be able to go ten days without solid food, and then no longer crave food.  I think that after 10 days without food, I would probably go on a feeding frenzy.  Not to mention, all of the people who make these extreme weight loss claims - I mean, duh, you haven't eaten anything for ten days - they also call that anorexia, or the starvation diet, which is known to lead to weight loss, nothing new there.

But, back to the Lemonade Diet.  I read up on this diet craze - and it turns out that many people on the diet become constipated (due to lack of nutrients, no doubt - some master cleanse).  There fore, it is recommended that in addition to drinking disgusting pepper - lemon maple syrup throughout the day, you consume laxative tea in the evening.  Then, in the morning, you drink a glass of warm salt water, ewwww.  That sounds healthy, doesn't it?

Lemonade Diet Recipe - Lemonade Diet Recipe 03

The way I see it, if you want to starve yourself for the sake of weight loss - go right ahead, but skip the nasty lemon stuff, laxative tea and salt water.  That's just adding an additional hurtful component to the abuse you are already inflicting on yourself.  I mean, you have to love yourself more than that.  I don't see how force feeding yourself nastiness can possibly lead to happiness (even if you do lose 30 pounds).  


  1. The lemonade diet is a new one to me! You're right on target - why would you add that kind of abuse? Good job.

  2. Wasn't there some celebrity that made this one famous? I want to say a supermodel-esque black woman. Dangit, now I will have to google it. Okay, googled - it was not a supermodel, but a pop start: Beyonce. Pure craziness! Insanity! Bah! I watched my gma do more diets than I can remember growing up and none were quite this nutty.

  3. The model-esque black celebrity would be Beyonce