Wednesday, May 12, 2010
The Nastiest Diet
By far, the nastiest, most disgusting diet I have ever heard of is The Lemonade Diet. First of all, the lemonade is just plain gross. Listen to this recipe, and tell me doesn't sound nasty:
o 2 tablespoons of freshly squeezed organic lemon juice
o 2 tablespoons of grade B organic maple syrup
o A 10th of a teaspoon of powdered organic cayenne pepper
o Distilled water in 10 oz glasses
So, my friend was doing The Lemonade Diet (AKA The Master Cleanse), and I tasted this concoction, and it made me gag. It is really foul. I mean, who even came up with that combination of flavors, and thought it would be a good idea to make them into a drink? Probably somebody with a sense of humor - probably somebody who is sitting back laughing at all the dopes going around drinking this stuff.
Anyway - you drink this spicy syrup lemonade instead of eating solid food, and it's supposed to cleanse your body of toxins - and it's supposed to suppress all cravings for junk food. You do this for a minimum of 10 days (but, apparently, you can stay on the diet for up to 45 days). I can't imagine, though, that I would be able to go ten days without solid food, and then no longer crave food. I think that after 10 days without food, I would probably go on a feeding frenzy. Not to mention, all of the people who make these extreme weight loss claims - I mean, duh, you haven't eaten anything for ten days - they also call that anorexia, or the starvation diet, which is known to lead to weight loss, nothing new there.
But, back to the Lemonade Diet. I read up on this diet craze - and it turns out that many people on the diet become constipated (due to lack of nutrients, no doubt - some master cleanse). There fore, it is recommended that in addition to drinking disgusting pepper - lemon maple syrup throughout the day, you consume laxative tea in the evening. Then, in the morning, you drink a glass of warm salt water, ewwww. That sounds healthy, doesn't it?
The way I see it, if you want to starve yourself for the sake of weight loss - go right ahead, but skip the nasty lemon stuff, laxative tea and salt water. That's just adding an additional hurtful component to the abuse you are already inflicting on yourself. I mean, you have to love yourself more than that. I don't see how force feeding yourself nastiness can possibly lead to happiness (even if you do lose 30 pounds).