Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Teenage Years Here We Come, Again!

We are on the verge of having our oldest son turn 18, the age at which many people consider teens to become adults.  The teenage years have had ups and downs, but I must say I wont miss them.  Emotions, fears of threats to today's teens, the loss of childhood - those things have marked the past four years.

But, guess what.  Today marks the last day of my sweet Elijah being a boy.  Tomorrow he will turn 13, and the teenage years will start all over again.  What horrible timing, aye?

So, I will actually have to live through teenagerness three more times!  I must be nuts!

I decided to try to find some online advice for raising young teens.  This is the most useful information I found on teenagers:

Teenagers Are Like Cats

How so? Well, consider:
  • Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

  • No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot.

  • You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

  • Even if you tell jokes as well as David Letterman, neither your cat nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

  • No cat nor teenager shares your taste in music.

  • Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.

  • Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

  • Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.

  • No cat nor any teenager has ever improved anyone's furniture.

  • Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.

  • Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

  • So - this time around I will treat the teenager like a cat.  I will feed him as often as he wants to eat.  I will let him sleep when he wants to sleep.  I will appreciate the attention he gives me, but not expect him to appreciate my attention.  I will scratch him behind the ears and accept the fact that he might just look at me with disgust and walk away.  I will enjoy having him around and I will enjoy the time we have together.

    And if that doesn't work, I get to start all over again in five years.  

    Happy Birthday to my baby, Elijah.  I can't believe 13 years could fly by so fast.  I will miss my little boy, but look forward to seeing the man you will become.

    1 comment:

    1. How true and how beautiful this is! The man Elijah will become will be extraordinary! Happy Birthday to him.